InLife team members share R U OK? Stories

My older brother Aaron battled mental health demons his whole life. At 33, he decided his life was fulfilled enough and ended it early.

It is a beautiful thing to choose when to end your life, but it is also a beautiful thing to ask for help when you need it.

Aaron worked as a concreter and found there was judgement and stigma around mental health in this industry. His goal was to change this, to have open communication and speak honestly about what’s on our minds.

He was my best friend and soulmate and he taught me that love and support can make a difference in someone’s life.

From this experience, he also taught me how to accept and support people around me when they need it. It gives me the confidence to constantly ask “are you okay?”.

I now use my experience as a sibling of suicide to help others around me. My door is always open for anyone who needs a chat and I’m also in the process of starting an SOS - siblings of suicide support group. Watch this space!

If you or someone you know needs support, Lifeline is available 24-hours on 13 11 14.

When I was younger working as a tour guide, I was working multiple shifts one after the other.

I worked 21 days in a row. I didn’t realise the toll it was taking until I got to my next shift on day 22.

We were setting up and a colleague noticed something was off and asked “are you okay?”.

I started bawling and had a panic attack. She didn’t realise what was happening and neither did I. I think the last time I had a panic attack was as a child.

I didn’t work that day and instead had a debrief with a manager, who asked what was going on and how I was feeling. I was tired and couldn’t understand why my body wasn’t working.

I was young and unaware of my feelings and my manager said I was probably experiencing burnout and should take a couple of weeks off to recharge.

The time off was brilliant - I really needed some time for myself. After the two weeks I was back to myself again. Now I know how to better take care of myself.

It’s funny that it was literally someone asking “are you okay?” and I opened up into a mess. I remember it quite often, and ask myself if I’m okay. It’s then I realise if I should be slowing down or taking time off.

I wouldn't reply to text messages when I wasn't feeling good. I didn’t want to continue a conversation when I didn't have the energy, which only made me feel more isolated.

I was having a conversation with Mum when she asked why I'm not replying to her messages.

I didn't really have an answer. She told me "I just want you to reply so I know that you're okay. "

It made me acknowledge that my mental health was in decline again. Fortunately, she noticed the signs even when I wasn't ready to acknowledge it myself.

It made me realise that there is always someone that cares about you even when it's hard to care for yourself.

Now I always make sure to reply.

I’m one of the unlucky ones who ended up with long covid after the first Omicron wave.

It’s draining in every possible way - physically, financially and emotionally. It also varies wildly for everyone, both in symptoms and severity.

At the worst of it, I was withdrawn and my mental health was not going well. It’s hard to say goodbye to the life you once had. I went from training for a big fitness goal in 2022 to struggling to walk from the dizziness.

I was so appreciative of everyone who checked in on me. It was via text or phone call because I didn’t have the energy to leave home. Sometimes I didn’t even want to reply. As an extrovert, it was news to me that people can drain your energy.

Most of the time I wasn’t okay, and nothing anyone said could fix my body. But it meant so much to me that people noticed, asked how I was going and listened.

My recovery involves a team of five professionals, including a psychologist.